We weren't promised happiness.

I just heard another story that made me so sad.  A marriage of 28 years was ending because one person in the marriage "just wasn't happy".  I've heard this so many times.  He just doesn't make me happy or she doesn't make me happy. 

First of all, if you're relying on someone else to make you happy, you will always be disappointed.  It's not our job to make other people happy.  Does that make you squirm a little?  We naturally want others to be happy but our relationships shouldn't be defined by that.  It IS our responsibility to add substance to the lives of others.  To love them.  To serve them.  To value them.

Second, we were never promised happiness.  If you think you were, who told you that?  It's a myth, more appropriately - a lie.  Happiness and contentment are two different things.  Sure, we will have moments of happiness in our lives but, it never lasts.  Ever heard the saying "this too shall pass"?  Well, it applies to happiness as well as sorrow.  It always passes thru, never stays forever.  Happiness is defined as  'Good luck; good fortune; prosperity'.  Contentment is defined as  'satisfaction; ease of mind'.  When's the last time you had "ease of mind"?  I personally would rather have ease of mind in ANY circumstance than happiness for only certain circumstances.

What would be better, someone making you happy or being someone with ease of mind?  Marriage isn't a land of happiness.  It gets hard, demanding and stressful.  But, if you can have peace of mind THRU all of that, isn't it worth it?  You should feel loved, served, and valued.  You should know that, when times get tough, you have a partner that is there for the long haul -good AND bad.  Aren't those the vows?  It doesn't say "In happy times only".

So, if you're dissatisfied with your marriage, don't say "they're not making me happy".  Say, "what can I do to love, serve and value this relationship?".  Because, like it or not, we weren't promised happiness.

I plan on applying this starting NOW!!